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Monday, September 24, 2012

Heartbreak

So, in the recent few months there has been this one topic that has been constantly on the edge of my mind, heartbreak.

HEARTBREAK, everyone experiences it at least once at some point in there life. But, I feel like in the last several months I have seen and felt more heartbreak then I could imagine.

I think the worst part of heartbreak, isn't even your own heartbreak. Which, you may say sounds super silly, but I feel like the heart hurts more when you're watching the people you love suffer, and the pain that is going on inside of them is plain to see across their faces. It tortured me to just sit back and be an onlooker, completely helpless and not knowing how to heal them. As they felt pain, and went through their personal hell, all I wanted to do was take their pain away and make them whole again, to make their days a little bit more bearable.

The funny thing about heartbreak, is it doesn't matter how long ago your heart was broken. The pain of a broken heart may be as fresh as this mornings tea, or ancient as Confucius himself. And I came to realize that their isn't one person that is completely innocent of a solid heart.

I can't explain how a broken heart feels like, almost like you're heart is ripped out of chest and disposed off. But, before its disposed of its tortured and it tries to protect itself, all its defense go up and at that moment, everything connected to the heart, the brain and all bodily functions turn off. There is a moment that you turn into a complete vegetable. There isn't any special medicine to make you feel alright, but, their are friends and time. Eventually, a band-aid is put upon the hole that was made.

I almost feel like the ones, that break your heart make a connection with you. Not necessarily a bad one either,some can become your bestest friends, and others leave taking pieces of you. I guess, everyone who breaks your heart holds a piece of you, which can sound sick that they don't allow you to be set free but their is something beautiful about it too. I guess I see it as, love as much as you can and if your heart gets broken in the end, that one piece gets to travel with the person who has taken it with them.


I guess after seeing and experiencing a broken heart, you take a step back from reality, almost pushing and shoving it away. At least that's how I see myself, I feel like opening up and trusting someone completely is like leaping off a building knowing there isn't anything to catch you when you hit the ground.

I am not a strong believer of love, never having any great love models to show me that its actually possible, I feel like sometimes I am biased about it. And I don't admit that maybe just maybe, I want someone to prove me wrong.

In the end I think that heartbreak, is about forgiving. Revenge is silly, hate is silly, so forgive ease your heart and allow it to open up again.

xoxox,

A silly girl with a lot of thoughts




Sunday, September 16, 2012

Its A Little Bit More Peaceful

So, in the ideal world, I should be doing homework, but in this world, with this mind, too many thoughts are active for that.

Its a wonder, how things fall togather and how they can fall apart. I haven't figured out how they fall apart nor how they fall togather. But, for some odd reason people will enter and leave your life. Thats just how it is. There is no choosing on who comes and who goes, its like it is written out somewhere and you have no control of anyone or anything.

In recent days I have realized that you, yourself and only yourself can make you happy. You make your destiny and you, choose who you want in your life, who you don't. But, at the same time people can make the same choice and choose who they want in their life.

A wise friend told me, he knows that, "no matter what goes on, everything will be okay." Believing him was not a choice I wanted to make, it's not easy in a time of hardness to believe that everything will be alright and that you will get through it. But the funny thing, I have come to realize is that you can get through anything.

As human beings, we are stubborn and we make life hard on ourselves. When in all reality life is just a bunch of puzzle peices and you need to find them and piece them togather. Along the way, you will stumble, you will fall, and you may just find treasure.

I am not looking forward to stumbling, but maybe falling with no gravity is alright. Feeling the lightness of the world around you I think would be just fine. And as always, finding treasure, because it is treasure it will be unexpected and suprisingly welcoming.

So, today I am happy. Today, an almost complete stranger made me smile. Today, life doesnt seem so difficult. And all will be well.

xoxo.

The girl who is just figuring it all out



Saturday, April 7, 2012

March/April book haul

All of these have been recommended through fellow book bloggers.
1. Leviathan: by Scott Westerfeild from reading the back of the book this sounds like some sort of dystopian love story about star-crossed lovers. I had this book for a while and as I read the back it defiantly sounds like something I am going to pick up sometime soon.
2. The Last Days: by Scott Westerfeild
This is the sequel to peeps which is a vampire based novel taking place in New York City. It is about a plague that is transferred between the rats and the humans of New York City. The humans get vampiric instincts and have to learn how to live in their new bodies as the thirst for blood. The virus is passed on from human to human by physical contact, and will drive the human form to insanity.
3. Thirst #3: by Christopher Pike
Another vampire story, the 3rd book in the Thirst series.The main character Alisa must protect, Terri a descendant of her family who is at risk just by knowing her. I'm not really sure what this is about since I haven't read the previous 2 books in the series.
4. Looking for Alaska:by John Green
From reading the back of the book I can tell this is going to be some sort of love story. Alaska Young the main character sounds very interesting. I think this will be one of the next book I'll pick up.:)
5. Fight Club: by Chuck Palahniuk and let's be honest I saw this on a blog and heard it was a must read but I har no idea what it is about.
6. Wither: by Lauren Destefano
This is a dystopian novel about a girl named Rhine who lives in a society in which makes die at 25 and females die at 20. It is normal for girls to be kidnapped and sold as brides. As Rhine gets sold into a marriage she plans her escape with the help of Gabriel a servant in her new husbands house.
7.Temped: P.c. Cast and Kristen Cast
A house of night novel.
8.Burned: P.c. Cast and Kristen Cast
A house of night novel
9.The Body Finder: Kimberly Derting
A girl named Violet has a strange gift or you can call it a curse. She can sense dead bodies that have been murdered and she establishes a link with the killer. The killer starts to terrorize her town and she may e the only one that is able to stop him.
10. Carrier of the Mark: Leigh Fallon moves to Ireland where she feels like she belongs. She makes a group of friends and meets a young man named Adam. Only to her surprise does Leigh discover that her feelings for Adam where sealed by fate and can not only cause passion but destruct everything in its path.


Back to Blogging: Yes, I have been gone a while.

Hey Guys,

So, I have been gone from blogging for a while, which is defiantly not like me. :( Unfortunatly, I will for the time period, not be keeping up with my YouTube channel. And I feel like an apology is in order. The reason for that is I simply dont have any time. For my Book Fan Fam, there will be reviews on Goodreads. For my other readers, I will start to blog more often, I hope.

I am hoping to be getting back into writting because that is what I am passionate about. So, hopefully you will all hang in there with as I get back into the swing of things.:)

This was just a little blog to let you know what has been going on. Thank you all for your support through these years, especailly the book community on youtube and goodreads.:)

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Hurt

Everybody will feel this feeling, this strange creepy darkness that just swells up within oneself. It's simple its the pain, simple breaking of a heart. The heart thats a funny thing, it can be broken in one instant or it can be slowly torn at, ripped and stabbed over a period of time. It can be broken by some complete stranger or the person that you find yourself caring about more than anything in the world. That's the hurt that hurts the most.

Its easier to lock your heart up, and not allow yourself to feel or fall in love. It's easier to pretend that everyone around you are bad and are going to hurt you. It's easier to lock yourself away and not allow yourself to feel anything. When you feel for that one instant love, the next instant you are wondering when the hurt part comes or how long are you going to have to wait for it.

I always expected that people will stab at my heart, so I kept it closed off and didn't let anyone near it. Until, suddenly I thought that something maybe different, something would stop the constant pain, and I allowed myself for that small instant to trust someone other than myself. For a long time I was convinced that it was the right thing to do. But, sitting here and writting this makes all those feelings just run and hide under the covers. I feel like a fool and the pain that rises in my chest where my heart is, hurts uncontrollably. The tears havn't hit my eyes yet, but the huge boulder in my chest has already been built.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Halloween Rain by Nancy Holder and Christopher Golden

Publishing Info
Pages: 160
Release Date: November 1,1997
Publisher: Simon  Pulse


  • Halloween Rain by Christopher GoldenBased on the hit television series "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", this thrilling horror novel will chill you to the bones! Around Sunnydale, they say a scarecrow saturated with Halloween rain will come alive and slaughter anyone in sight. Buffy's best friends, Xander and Willow, used to think the tale was nonsense but after a few adventures with Buffy, they're not so sure. Even without a maniacal scarecrow, a Sunnydale Halloween is a truly horrific happening. There are about enough zombies and vampires about, ready to party and eat some brains, ready to keep the Slayer and her friends on an all night chase. As the rain begins to fall and the first droplets touch the earth, Buffy will have to be on the lookout-for a lethal killer is on the loose and will stop at nothing for human flesh.

Like most "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" Novels, I really liked this book. I guess it is because I am such a big fan for the telvision series and any work that is done by Joss Whedon. I found this book to be full of humor, which made it alot better than want I expected.It was diffently not a serious vampire novel but, more of a action chick flick. The Charcter were super fun. I loved Buffy because she was such a fun, but down to earth personalty even though she was a slayer by night. Another charcter I just couldnt get enough was Xander, he too is really funny and he made a very light atmosphere around the plot.

Another great thing about the book was that the plot took place around Halloween and gave its own version on what creatures come out during the twitching hour. I am suprised that it took me so long to read, which I didn't expect. But, then again I wasn't drawn to reading it all the time.
Plot Summary

The story takes place in Sunnydale, California during Halloween. There is a legend that on Halloween if it rains than scarecrows come to life and haunt the streets. All the other night creatures are deadly afraid of them. When Buffy, realizes that her nights have been slow she begins to wonder if something is going on with the creatures that live on the Hellmouth. Then, her friends Willow and Xander tell her a story of the Scarecrows coming to life if it rains on Halloween. To Buffy's great disappointment rain starts to fall and a scarecrow is missing from a crop feild.The creatures beneath the ground start to raise, and a creepy voice is calling Buffy's name from the crop feilds. Buffy's night is just about to get interesting.

I give the plot a 3/5 because I felt it was a little to predictable as to whatis going to happen next.

Characters:


The reason I kept on reading the book was because of the charcaters. They brought alot of humor to the story.
Buffy, which is the main charcter is a really strong female lead, although at times she is afraid she doesn't let anything hold her back.
Xander, he is super funny and its the smartest character, but he just keeps you entertained throughout the novel.
Willow, I find her to be a weaker female charcter but, I love that she portrays a really smart and interested in learning type of charcter which you don't see to often.
Giles, he is one of my favorite charcters of all time, apart from being british which adds to his personality. He is very educated and acts not only as a watcher to Buffy but as a father figure that she can look up too.

I loved to charcters. 5/5

Friday, March 25, 2011

The Gathering Book Review

Publishing Info:
Date: 04/12/11
Publisher: Haper Collins
Pages: 400
This book tells a story of a girl named Maya who lives in a town were scientific research occurs. After her bestfriend Serena's death Maya and Serena's boyfriend Daniel are determined to find answers to what happened. Only, to stumble upon more questions that leave Maya wondering. As the book progresses Maya gets a love interest Rafe, he is a new commer with an attitude. While all the girls swoon over him Maya claims that she won't fall vicitim to his game. Little does she know, Rafe opens a world of mystery, fright, and a longing for answers.

I enjoyed this book alot, it was my first introduction to Kelley Armstrongs writing. I loved the charcter Daniel who is the Serena's boyfriend, he was such a boy next door charcter. The reason I was sold on this charcter is because he was very protective and caring over Maya. I think it made him a stronger charcter and left me wondering how he is going to tie in with the rest of the story.

I enjoyed this book because the plot, isn't something you see in everyday young adult literature. Firstly, I loved how it tied in the Native Stories throughout the novel. I also enjoyed the ending of this book, although I was a little disappointed, because you don't find out what happens to all the charcters but, it left me wanting more. When a book does that to me than its diffently has made an impact on me. I felt this was a little hard to get into though. I don't know why but it took me a long time to get through the book, which shouldn't have taken me more than a few days. I did however enjoy the mystery in the book, I thought it was well thought and the plot just left me wanting more. I think the begginging could have used less description of Maya's hobby of taking care of sick animals but I can see where that ties in with the rest of the story.

I give this a 3/5 stars. I defiantly recommend every young adult reader to give it a try.